Hi All, this is my first blog. I decided to start one because I am trying to distract myself from the terrible thoughts and feelings associated with grief. I am hoping that sooner rather than later, you will see my funny side. I love to laugh at myself and my misfortunes, but today I just feel sad so I do apologise for the low level of energy this blog provides…

My mum was on the last day of her Queensland (in Australia) holiday on the 6th of September 2011. She and Dad had been gone for two months and had parked themselves in a little coastal town and set up their caravan. Mum sent a text saying they would head home the next day. It was not to be. Despite my Dad’s concerns about school traffic, Mum took herself off for a bike ride around 3pm. At 4pm I got a phone call from my Dad. He was crying. Mum had been in an accident and Dad was on his way to the hospital. I was thousands of kilometres away in Victoria and could only field the phone calls. I cannot go into detail as it is too hard, but basically my mum was hit by a 31 year old woman who then drove away. She literally ran over my mum, crushing her. She died during the night.

Grief is an evil neccessity. I have been there before, but I will leave that story for another day. I miss my mum and I worry for my dad. The shock just about killed us and the aftermath is something I don’t care to revisit. The grief comes in waves and cripples me when I finally feel like I am standing for the first time in ages. I have to be strong for my daughter and for my dad, but sometimes it is hard. I must admit, though I am not suicidal, I am so tired I feel it would be easier to be dead. Is that too confronting? Is it true of others who have lost their loved ones? I would be interested to know….